


My Last Vow

by CanonicalJohnLock



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Sherlock Series 3 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 22:07:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanonicalJohnLock/pseuds/CanonicalJohnLock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock is broken after John's wedding and is slowly spiraling down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Last Vow

My first vow was to stay by John and Mary’s sides, always. Yet I have already seemed to break it. After leaving the wedding early I went back to Baker Street, I knew John wouldn’t be here until tomorrow to say goodbye before his honeymoon.   
I went into my room, found that old wooden box that I hid in my closet years ago. The contents are of the past. Before Lestrade, before Mrs. Hudson, and before John. I gently grab one of the foreign syringes between my fingertips. After much contemplation I slip the thin needle into the skin of my arm. Suddenly everything becomes a blur, and the rest of the night was a black haze.  
Apparently I was wrong about John coming to say goodbye, because a week later the same routine continues. Wake up, drink the tea Mrs. Hudson brings so she doesn’t worry. Slip the needle under my skin, and forget the rest.   
John is supposed to come back from his honeymoon tomorrow. I know I should clean up this mess, myself and the apartment. I just don’t have the strength though. I just continue the day as usual, let what happens happen.   
I suddenly wake up to the sound of shouting, I’m not fully sure my brain was working correctly, but it seemed like it had only been an hour. Apparently I was correct by the time on the clock. John had come home early. He’s found me like this, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I open my eyes momentarily to see John, pulling the needle from my arm with tears on his face. I can hear muffled sirens in the distance and hear Lestrade’s voice trying to wake me before the black consumes me.

I wake up in a hospital bed with John asleep at my side. I look over at John sleeping in the small chair. I reach my hand out and grab his arm. He wakes up, taking in a sharp breath. He looks at me and smiles widely.  
“You’re awake! You’re alive! You-” suddenly John stops speaking and his face turns to utter fury. “You utter bloody cock! You scared me half to death!” John scowled at me and balled his fists. I knew he would attack me if I weren’t already in a bad state.   
I finally got the courage to speak and looked up at John, “Where’s Mary?” I asked calmly. John suddenly went quiet and looked down. Silence fell upon the room and John sighed heavily.   
“Sherlock, she passed away a month ago, I told you. God how much did you take?” John looked at Sherlock and sat back down in the chair. He put his face in his hands and sighed heavily.   
“A month ago? John you went for your honeymoon last week,” Sherlock looked around for some sort of calendar, but there wasn’t any. He looked over at John for some kind of clue.  
“Sherlock, Mary and I went on our honeymoon six months ago,” John looked at Sherlock and saw the confusion on the detectives face. “We came to the flat after we got home, us three, we chatted for a while. I’ve visited several times, but you always told me to go home to Mary. Christ you really did take a lot of this stuff. Why Sherlock? What made you come back to this?”  
Sherlock tried to take in everything, and as John talked he slowly remembered it all, like a movie in his head. The visits, usually just John, occasionally Mary came to show her baby bump. He then snapped back to the moment. Why Sherlock? The words rang in his mind. Surely he couldn’t tell John the truth, but apparently his mouth didn’t agree with his mind.  
“You,” The curly haired man answered with a soft, weak voice. He looked up at the ceiling. “Don’t you realize John, since you entered my life, everything I’ve done was because of you. Whether to protect you, or spite you, or in this case. To forget you.”  
"Don't you dare put this on me Sherlock," John gritted his teeth and punched his chair. "You've bloody we'll put me through a lot, what on Earth have I done to make you do this?"   
Sherlock laughed quietly. It was his deep laugh that felt slightly condescending. Like whatever he was about to say was obvious, but it clearly was not. "You made me fall in love John, that's what you did." He sighed and sat up. He quickly removed himself from all of the machines and put on the clothes John had brought with him everyday.  
John was frozen, he was shocked. He couldn't stop Sherlock as the man got up and walked out the door. All he could do was sit there, slowly realizing what Sherlock meant. He thought back to their times together and slowly realized that Sherlock wasn't kidding in the slightest. He knew that Sherlock would do something drastic again without John there. So once he finally decided what he would do with this new information, he went after the detective.   
He checked everywhere, Baker Street, Scotland Yard, he even asked Sherlock's homeless network. No matter where he went, it was as if Sherlock just vanished. He kept looking though, getting some help from Mycroft, and even he could find his brother.  
"For fucks sake!" John exclaimed as he slammed his fists down on the counter. He was angry and worried, and most of all still slightly confused by the scene in the hospital room.   
"John, you know Sherlock. If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be, but when he does you'll be the first to know." Mycroft said a bit more gently than normal. John had told Mycroft everything beforehand.   
“No Mycroft, I don’t know that. He didn’t tell me last time!” John was furious, everything was just a whirlwind at the moment. He couldn’t even contain true emotions anymore.   
“John, you’re being unreasonable,” Mycroft said from the couch. “He’s never even scientifically understood love, but now he tell you it’s fallen upon him? Give him a while to figure out what’s going on.”  
So, finally John did just that. He waited, moved back into 221b, and just waited. Mycroft checked in on him now and again, as did Lestrade. After four months even Mycroft began to worry. With all of his connections, he still couldn’t find his brother.  
John had waited, and he couldn’t take it anymore, being utterly alone. He sent a text to Sherlock, number 2,139. “Sherlock, I can’t do this anymore. Com home now, or I won’t be here when you do. I won’t be anywhere. -JW” His thumb wearily hit the send button and waited. On the table next to him sat two cups of tea, and a bottle of pills.  
Sherlock, as always, read the text, and as always, didn't reply. Though he did feel worried, he was still scared. He knew that he'd rather live in fear with John, than in guilt without him. He finally worked up his courage and got a cab back the Baker Street. Once he got there he slowly climbed the stairs so that John couldn't hear him coming. As he opened the door he saw John staring at Sherlock's empty chair as he raised the bottle closer to his lips.   
"JOHN!" Sherlock ran to John and smacked the bottle out of his hand. Thankfully he had not taken any yet, so the pills danced around on the floor while the bottle rolled away. Sherlock looked down at John for a moment before pulling him out of the chair and into a hug.  
"I guess it worked huh?" John asked, the question muffled against Sherlock's shirt. He smiled weakly and hugged Sherlock back, clinging to him. "Don't leave me again okay?"   
Sherlock smiled softly as tears slid down his face. "Okay, I promise," Sherlock replied. He thought about how he had broken his last vow, but he swore he would not break this promise.   
After a week of settling things Sherlock and John were back to cases. They all seemed to baffle Sherlock, but they all had the same concept. Soon Sherlock found they also had the same originator, Mr. Charles Augustus Magnussen. This man was more brain rattling than Moriarty, and by the end of a week he had Sherlock driven mad.   
When Sherlock finally thought he had recollected himself, Charles threw the worst at him. It was right after a small case, John was at the clinic so Sherlock went home alone. When he opened the door, the two chairs by the fireplace were full. Sitting in those chairs were the two women he thought he would never see again. Irene Adler, and Mary Watson.  
"Hello cheekbones," The Woman said with a sly grin. "Charles says hello."   
Mary seemed more focused on other things. "Where's John, Sherlock?" She looked over at the detective and saw he was frozen. For the second time in his life, Sherlock Holmes was completely speechless.


End file.
